I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
