i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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