too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
