I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
