Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
