nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
