This girl is more easily done than said...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
