I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We have so much sex to catch up on
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
