I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
