She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
