So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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