today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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