So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So vagazzling was a success
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
