therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
