bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
