Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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