we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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