I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
