i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
