i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
