bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize