I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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