So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
