k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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