Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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