you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
