Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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