so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My hand turned me down
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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