hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
