Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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