508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
