you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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