i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize