OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
