This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
