I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
