He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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