is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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