So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
