don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
