so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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