Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
