Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
