Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
