His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
