Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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