Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
