He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
