no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
pray to the hookup gods
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
