hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
