Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
