i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
