i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
