Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
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