Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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