You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize