Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
