Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
