I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We got so high we made milksteak
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
