Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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