Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
