Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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