I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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