yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
