did you get engaged???
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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