Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
