The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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